sunshine girl

I really like this, it's very sincere and a nice rhythm. well done!!! :D

hey, I did like this although bits were a teeny tiny bit cliche. Overall really nice though, I particularly liked the end. :)

I did like parts of it and the ideas, but parts were a tad confusing and needed a bit of fine tuning. Overall, pretty good though.

I quite liked it. Didn't understand bits of it but maybe it's just too deep for me (!!:D!!). Definetly better than the first one.

Did you mean that you love the goose? I did like the poem though, and the idea of breathing in different kinds of air was really nice and refreshing. :)

I liked it and can definetly see where the ideas are coming from. I particularly liked the last stanza, but think the whole thing does need a little bit of ...

I did like the message although I think it is probably one of those poems which could be more effective without rhyme. With a bit of work I do think ...

pretty cool, nice message but a bit messy in places e.g off of which should probably just be 'off'. I did like it though.

I really liked this, the imagery was lovely but in parts a tiny bit repetitive. I thought some parts sounded better than others, but overall I really liked it.

I thought it was pretty cool. I liked the image of the sweet smelling pollen but in places the good imagery was lost by certain words e.g drabby. really nice ...

thanks for all your comments. I wrote this for a competition which it won so at the moment I'm not looking to do any more work on it, especially as ...

Thanks for all your comments! I am new to this and was worried comments would be harsh! Thanks for the advice about stanzas, good idea. :)

I hope that's a good thing

Hello. I like this. I particularly like the 'midnight hair'. I think it's pretty good. :D